2003-10-28 - 5:35 a.m.
Letting go~ and waiting for Poetry
And I'm gonna change my blog layout someday... I just despise it now..hopefully I'll get down to doing it one day...
And yes I got officially freaked out by the mere thot of the stalker.. haha scared he will rape me or tail me down.. argh! Freaky..I will never walk alone in Church.. haha pity I dunno any guys in my Church.. pity.. only my dad can save me..
And I had news from Russell yesterday..and frankly, I dunno how many pple koe about Homework...and they can guess.. wow! They blame it on some psychic thing but seriously if u look at it carefully, how many guys do I know from 05? 3 only.. tt only leaves the qn of whether u will hit 05 out of the 32 classes here in AJC..
And everything is so topsy-turvy? I know he likes someone else..it can't be me.. -_- so I am giving him up.. yet it is so hard to let go... haha! But I'm getting there (hopefully).. there r other fishes in the sea..okay, that sounds so cliche..honestly. hAHAZ..well at least the experience of Voldemort and Homework taught me not to undervalue my expectations.. hello..there ought to be someone else better out there..who has more passion and zest for Life..who can at least talk to me..(i've no idea why I go for the shy silent types when I need someone who can talk back to me and not be painfully shy)...yeah and may my next crush be like Poetry as quoting Emily Dickinson
'If it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me I know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.'
Can the passion of poetry ever replace the passion of love? To me poetry is the pulse of Life but Love are the enormous kinks.. what a despondent view on Love... oh yeah when I said be like Poetry, he must be as invigorating as Poetry... Poetry should be able to liven up the reader, touching her in different ways, yet only certain people with their hearts open can experience the pulsating beat.. Poetry is special to each individual and no two can read poetry with the same feelings.. Poetry should renew and enhance, not break and scatter... Poetry should be able to show u and reinforce the joys of Life.. Poetry should then become the Passion of Love..
Hmz, to those who don't understand... Poetry is like Cupid...and thats why a Purple Passion Flower for Psyche.. and while people say wait for Mr Right..I say I'm waiting for Poetry..a personification of the total embodiment of the perfect guy for me.. For me now, Life is hopefully going on..tho my Love Life is void.. and yes.
I just go on each day...laughing at the world..cursing societal demands and conformities..realising my good friends..and being there for them.. But I wait seriously for Poetry to come..after all, although I don't need a guy now, I wish to Love again... I think I need a guy who has the same passion as me..and interest..and be fiery within. Lets hope i don't blunder again but I will never regret Homework or Voldemort...
Hahaz.. to marilyn and geraldine... CFC reserved a seat for me..but Angel took it.. wahahaz...
May I go into deep slumber never to awaken until Poetry becomes the Passion of Love