2003-12-16 - 9:51 a.m.
Being inebriated
I feel inebriated... (i'm not sure of the meaning...but I like the sound of the word)...
Hmz.. have been feeling really irrational these few days... maybe also due to lack of sleep...
I wonder if its good to dive head-on and take the risk w/o considering consequences
Or to take things slowly and consider all possibilities... to see if its really true...
And get really paranoid at times.. and being too reflective which in turn leads to fear of risks...
But more often, its because the other party like first.. and u who after realisation, then decide.. somehow the passion for the other person cannot rival the other party.. and becos of tt u can become overly critical, overly fearful, overly pushy, overly expectant.. well mostly negative aspects.. yeah and well I guess its a phase to get used to.. being totally new at this, you are bound to falter.. so yep, I guess I'm still learning the ropes... still trying to grasp the concepts.. still trying to be good to him..
I see that the fault is before me, yet I don't think its my fault
But its my fault for hurting him
But I don't wanna wind up hurting myself and him in the end
The question remains Do I like him enough?
Quoting Sheena, your boyfriend has to be your lover rather than a good friend.
Someone please define lover and good friend... is my definition wrong?
Emerson is like a good friend yet hes more than a good friend to me... we are so alike thats its like a soulfriend thing.. yet is this good or bad? I know I am fond of him.. and I do treat him more than a good friend.. yet it is also more than how I treat a kor..
OKay okay Alice was just giving me some advice... hmz.. if u dislike 1 thing in a person, u might end up liking everything abt him.. tts true..
Yet am I deluding myself? Will I really be totally devastated if we broke up?
Being inebriated doesn't help...
and just two hours of sleep for two days can cause your mind to be irrational
Is it prudent to state that I love Emerson?