2004-04-17 - 9:19 p.m.
Cos I chose not to...
I just watched the show Evelyn.. abt an Irish father who fought agst the Irish Constitution... so that he could get his children back from the orphanages...its like very heart-rendering...seriously..its very sad.. and the final victory is indeed like honey upon one's lips...
And I look at myself.. I don't have what he suffers... I don't have my loved ones torn from my side, I don't have to worry about how to get the next meal on the table, I don't have to worry that no one is going to listen to my pleas, I don't worry that my life is crumbling, I don't have to mourn that I've been betrayed.. I don't have to weep becos my father has left this world.. I don't. And Desmond Doyle overcame all that... amazing.. considering he kept drinking and drinking like a fish.. but that proves it gets no one nowhere... just like a joke said in the story: What is the worst thing than drinking to forget?.. Ans: Forgetting to drink...
Seriously, what is my plight compared to his? Whining abt i can't study.. i can't succeed... and he worries over having a roof over his head and his children!
I wished I lived in Switzerland or Ireland or Austria or Germany or Scotland where there are mountains.. and green meadows to comfort me... where the sky is clear and I can smell fresh dew... all these wishes.. and I think the Order of Sisters that is displayed in Evelyn and Sound of Music is seriously what I want.. I mean their habits are nice.. being black and all.. and what more better way to pray up the mountains which embodies tranquility!
I just know I won't be stuck in this dull and boring singapore...this flat land with its mud and marshes.. with the people being short-sighted.. with a government that is so perfect there is no need to rebel agst it.. not that I want to rebel but I hate the stupid laid-back life pple lead..that they would rather contend themselves with running the blasted rat-race..and be placed with the curse that they enjoy every sweet juicy moment of it..they would want to think of the betterment of singapore rather than the betterment of their lives...they give up their lives for the state.. Stalin would be so proud of them.. and they then complain abt competition..to be the best. Hmz... come to think of it.. I would not want to burden myself with human tendencies...
I rather be a flower on this earth and be clothed every morning with God's grace and be thrown into the furnace tomorrow... than walked this earth like a Man and not always be clothed with God's grace.. cos I chose not to...