Thursday, Feb. 17, 2005 - 2:03 a.m.
Daryl...
I just had a super long conversation with Daryl just now.. quite long hahaha! Very long.
Anyway, I learnt alot of stuff and he learnt alot of me. Of course, not all the revelations were good but yep, it served as an insight to all. Haha, we did have fun in the conversation.. lolx.. tho its the first time we actually talked over the phone. Funny after all these years, suddenly..
Well, what can I say I've learnt? Love is blind and realli one should not treat it lightly or play with it. I guess first loves are always the most serious and the most memorable. And Love should be about acceptance and yep assurance.. but there comes a time when love is not all tt strong to overcome. Promises we make are easily broken. I know myself well. Its really all I can say in admiration of Russell: I do not promise something that I cannot keep or break.. but promise things I can keep. I have made and broken so many promises but this sentence Russell told me in so crucial times.. made me respect him even more. I mean its really his own honour and integrity.. and yepz..
I feel bad the way I treated Russell.. even now. Hahha Daryl says I'll be a bitch if I break up wif him over some little thing but yeah.. haha I told Daryl that RUssell is heaven-sent. Hmz.. gee I nv realised how God send him to me.. and I din deserve him. All I did was just say Lord, I'm sick and tired of this Love Game.. I'm sick and tired of Homework.. of Voldemort..yeah I just offer everything up to you. Just send me the right one. I leave it in your hands. And I just said it in my mind and not realli like yeah.. and it was only once.. and God send me Russell. Sighz! I haven't been treating him tt well right? =(
And who are we to say has a more screwed up Love life? hah! Lolx.. if only Life was uncomplicated.. if only we have the strength to make it through this Life.. without any faults, sins or vices.. but then wheres the fun? but I guess its our choice! hahaz.. oh to love somebody, that you want the best for him.. but u dunno how to tell him! Cos it makes him angry or something.. hahah but sometimes acceptance ain't tt easy! Believe me! I have so tried with Russell.. haha and its in the form of prayer even. =(
Yepz..but ultimately I love him.. and to quote him.. a part of my heart will always belong to him.. tho I feel like slapping him everytime I read it when he refered to Claire. heehehhe I'm such a terrible gf.. and yeah coupled with the fact I'm afraid he will like KA.. which Daryl says is impossible but I feel a certain animosity towards her tho I dunno her. lolx!!! Insecurity!
But I told Daryl to pray for the right one cos God did send Russell to me when I asked him to. =D Who knows? He might be happy by the end of this month. So keep on believing in miracles.. and tho we will always be haunted by the past, Love shld nv be regretted, no matter how hurtful.. no matter how impossible. Becos you have already given part of your heart..(note the Perfect heart story I posted before).. and there is no turning back. So cherish!!!! Life is just too short! and please pray!
Anyway, my Vietnamese fren is staying at my house.. cos her evil grumpy landlord chased them out.. just as they came back from Vietnam.. she chases them out. Stupid wanton senile bat with a mental prob.. sighz.. I hope she will enjoy my pyscho house! =D.. my wierd family! Cant wait.. she is like staying over lor.. =) and yeah reminded me of my Weep, O You Broken Lovers poem.. sighz