Monday, Mar. 07, 2005 - 11:15 p.m.
The Army
Why do I always make excuses for you?
If I don't feel like you appreciate watever I do for you... how can I not feel hurt?
I'm getting drunk with depression...
Its like why do I care so much for you... Why do I go out of my way just to make time for you... and I am always free for you? WHY?
Thanks..I needed to know I have no social life. ThAT my whole wonderful life revolves ard you... but funny thing is I would just want to spend every min wif u...
And is it tt you dun appreciate the stuff I do for u? tt I will always say yes... tt I'm always there... like some dial-a-date? TT I have to understand you?
I gave you the cards and the notes... and I spend so much time on each of your presents.. just spend some time like perhaps telling me if you like it.. or writin me a note or a letter. AND LISTEn... tt Christmas party.. I could have busied myself with Puay San or Xueling.. BUT I WAS VERY TIRED.. after spending like the night before doing your christmas present..until like 5am.. I woke up at 9am to prepare the food and its mentally draining.. So its not my fault if I apparently din enjoy the party. I was tired and seh and everything.. not cos I was feeling weird or anything.
Yeah. Btw... tt stupid bastard of a cat high guy totally ignored my sister.. and acting the same way Voldemort acted to me. And she din even say she liked him... but yeah... its Cat high..
Argh! I'm like throwing my heart out here..
Why am I unsatisfied? I know he loves me... maybe he doesn't have time in the army... maybe maybe...
THe Army
But I do love you like crazy and miss you like crazy. I don't want to hurt you. Cos I stab myself four times over when I hurt you. Sure I sound smug and sarcastic... its only cos I dunno how to tell you I really really miss you. That you feature so much in my life... That i need you right now.. but I have my vain pride.. THIS FOOLISH PRide.. A shackle.. I really really miss you. But I am hurt by some of your insenstive actions but God knows, how much I love you. Please don't hurt me... cos I cant bear to know that despite it all.. I love you